Get the Facts

Why do same-sex couples want to get married?
How do the American people feel about the freedom to marry?
Does civil marriage for same-sex couples affect churches or other religious institutions?
Does this change the definition of marriage?
Aren’t there other alternatives to marriage for same-sex couples?
How does marriage strengthen families?
How will this affect children?
Won’t this cost a lot of money?

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Why do same-sex couples want to get married?
For similar reasons as anyone who wants to marry. To stand in front of friends and family to make a lifetime commitment to the person they love. To share the joys and the sorrows that life brings. To be a family, and to be able to protect that family.

As more Americans consider what it means to allow same-sex couples to join in civil marriage, you may have questions about what it means and how it works.  

How do the American people feel about the freedom to marry?
Public opinion research clearly demonstrates that a growing majority supports the freedom to marry. Likewise, support continues to rise in every state, demographic, and community.

• A majority of Americans now say they have a close friend or family member who is gay, according to a poll from CNN. This marks a sharp shift from just two decades ago, when most said they didn’t have any close friends or family members who were gay. (CNN Poll, June 2012)
• A recent poll of Washington voters shows strong support (54%) for the freedom to marry.  This includes a majority of Independent as well as Democrats. (Strategies 360 poll, May 2012)
• Public opinion continues to shift in favor of same-sex marriage, according to a new Washington Post-ABC News poll, which also finds initial signs that President Obama’s support for the idea may have changed a few minds.
• Overall, 53 percent of Americans say marriage for same-sex couples should be legal, hitting a high mark in support while showing a dramatic turnaround from just six years ago, when just 36 percent thought it should be legal. Thirty-nine percent, a new low, say marriage for same-sex couples should be illegal.
• Seventy-one percent of Americans have a friend, family member, or acquaintance who is gay, according to the Post-ABC survey, compared with 63 percent in 2010 and 59 percent in 1998. (Washington Post-ABC News Poll, May 2012)
• For the first time in Gallup’s tracking of the issue, a majority of Americans (53%) believe marriage for same-sex couples should be recognized by the law as valid, with the same rights as traditional marriages. (Gallup Poll, May 2011)

Does civil marriage for same-sex couples affect churches or other religious institutions?
No. It does not affect religious marriages, religious institutions, or clergy in any way. No religion would be forced to marry same-sex couples, or recognize same-sex marriage within the context of their religious beliefs.

Does this change the definition of marriage?
No. Allowing same-sex couples to marry does not change the meaning of marriage. It simply allows same-sex couples to marry the person they love, to establish and protect a family, and to make a lifetime commitment in the same way that other couples are able to.

Aren’t there other alternatives to marriage for same-sex couples?
Parents dream of walking their daughter down the aisle and dancing at their son’s wedding, seeing their children being happily married and settled into a genuine lifelong, loving relationship. They don’t dream of the legal contract their children will someday sign and get notarized.

No married couple would to trade their marriage for a domestic partnership. No one cries at a domestic partnership document signing – people cry at a wedding, because a marriage is so powerful and so special.

Washington has established some legislation to provide very basic legal protections for same-sex couples.  In a number of states there have been attempts to create marriage-like relationships, but in the real world they don’t work. For example, Domestic Partnership and Civil Union laws still don’t qualify a spouse or children for health care coverage that employers only extend through marriage. If a loved one is sick and needs to take time off from work, same-sex couples are not eligible for family leave.

How does marriage strengthen families?
Marriage gives couples the tools and the security to build a life together and to protect their families. Without the freedom to marry, same-sex couples do not receive the same recognition or protections for their families as other couples.

Couples get married because they want to be there for each other in sickness and in health, when times are good and when things get tough. State and federal marriage laws provide a safety net of over 1,200 legal and economic protections for married couples and their children—including the ability to visit your spouse in the hospital and to transfer property, which can mean being able to remain in the family home when your spouse has passed away.

Same-sex couples are often denied:

• hospital visitation when there’s been an accident or illness
• the ability to obtain “family” health coverage
• taxation and inheritance rights
• their role as parent of their children
• even protection in case the relationship ends.

View the lists of protections denied and what happens to families as a result.

How will this affect children?
Excluding same-sex couples from marriage harms children by denying them and their parents the support that would come to their families through the freedom to marry. Studies have proven that children of LGBTQ parents are as well-adjusted as those of non-gay parents.

All major child welfare experts, including the American Academy of Pediatrics, the National Association of Social Workers, the American Psychiatric Association, and the American Psychological Association, support the freedom to marry for same-sex couples because all children deserve the right to insurance coverage, social security, emergency care and inheritance rights no matter who their parents are. All families benefit from the reassurance that comes from knowing that your family is safe and secure.

Read what pediatricians and other experts say about the effects on children.

Won’t this cost a lot of money?
No. In fact, ending the discrimination of same-sex couples from marriage will save taxpayers money while boosting the economy. Federal recognition of the freedom to marry would result in nearly $1 billion of yearly savings for the federal government. Weddings for same-sex couples will result in an estimated $9.5 billion windfall for the American economy. In Washington State, the Williams Institute estimates that marriage for same-sex couples could add $88 million to the economy.

Language adapted from Why Marriage Matters Iowa, Why Marriage Matters Maine, and Freedom to Marry.